Drunk

Yes, i am drunk. And i didnt wan to make myself drunk. But i really have no choice. I have to make myself sick, pain, tired, giddy, so that i wont think so much. Its ereally not fair, you are having fun there and i have to suffer the lonesome here.

I keep telling myself to wait, wait wait. But there is always a limit to it. 30 hours already. Too much, if you havent know, you are too much. I thought you had forgotten everything, but i know, you havent. Ya, my fault. God know its my fault, to have said so many to you, so many bad things to you.

After writing this, i am going to give up. Really give up. i cant take it anymore. You say i m controlling your life. Look, who is controlling whose life? How you withstand a relationship if you dont control the other person's life? But the way we control each other, is getting out of hand.

I really cant take it anymore. I love you, but i m not sure about you. I know you used to love me too, but you had changed. Maybe i should change too. Too bad, fate is really fooling with us.

Pain, pain and pain. All i feel now is hurt. Yous ignorant is scaring me, it make me feel so small. Too small. I wanna gave up, really very soon.

Looking at all your past smses, i really feel jealous. Jealous of how we used to be. Ya, maybe you think it is my fault, i admit, i know its useless saying a million sorries. Its too late. We, or rather, i had lost. Sorry.

Who is the one who say will contact me when its free? 30 hours? Really, i had decided. End it tonight. Let it go ba.

Although it hurts badly to do so.

And yet, i love you.